APRIL 1: Keegan announces first steps in “aggressively restricting” cars in Dublin

BREAKING: The first steps of the plan to “aggressively restrict” cars and reallocate road space for cycling in Dublin have been reviewed this morning by Owen Keegan, chief executive of Dublin City Council.

Keegan said that there’s a climate crisis, inactivity crisis and pollution above safe levels but that up till now “everybody has pretended these things are not happening”.

The measures being announced at a press conference currently taking place at the council’s Wood Quay venue under the council’s office include:

• A continuous two-way cycle path on the north quays, which Keegan admitted: “they failed the last time they tried it because councillors would not support taking cars off the quays”.
• Floating bicycle parking outside Heuston Station, “like that one in Amsterdam” he said.
• CPOing of three of the most central car parks — Arnotts, Brown Thomas, Fleet Street — and turning these into a mix of delivery hubs and bicycle parking.
• Picnic benches on O’Connell Bridge, which he said were “inspired by suggestions made by Conor Faughnan over the years on radio shows”.
• Cycle paths in the centre of Grafton Street and Henry Street and €81 fines for shoppers who cross away from the official crossings points.

IrishCycle.com fully expects that The Irish Times will report on this in five days or maybe a month’s time and claim they are the first.

The press conference is continuing… we’ll bring you more as it’s said…

(Edit on April 2, 2022: To avoid any out-of-context confusion away from April 1: This whole article was an April Fool’s joke.)